have you tried getting the bootstrap?
https://github.com/UdjinM6/dash-bootstrap
I have not tried that yet with this update. Maybe the process will use less RAM indexing from the single bootstrap file than reindexing the existing blocks in the folder from v11. It is worth a shot, thanks for the reminder.
If that does not work, I might just have to increase my VPS' RAM size. Not that I'm complaining. I've always expected the cost and complexity of operating a MN to go up along with features-adoption-dashprice. Eagerly anticipating the day it costs $100/month in VPS fees just to run a single masternode.