That's weird, last night I started my two tMNs with the MN tab, my remote MNs didn't actually say they started, but the wallet assured me they were started, so I just left everything as is. Now I just noticed that they never did start up, and my wallet shows them as having not started.
It looks like the "success" message is merely a broadcast success, essentially just saying that you have a functioning dash.conf/masternode.conf, and they passed all the sanity/collateral check tests and the broadcast was "success." Zero communication actually occurs with the remote/MN daemon. So, the "success" message is a bit deceptive and really has nothing at all to do with the MN being activated or not.
It'd be nice if there was true, closed-loop active feedback, where the remote MN daemon pings back the client with ack (eh, not the best idea), or (better idea) messages the network and the client notices, saying that the remote now recognizes it's MN status, without having to monitor all the remote debug.log files to see it. Maybe. Kinda like monitoring for IX lock messages... In fact, it looks like most of this is in place, it just doesn't reach the UI in an appropriate manner. Shouldn't be hard to do...
Currently, the broadcast is all we get, and if the daemon doesn't go active, it falls off in 70+ minutes. Dashninja can help the operator notice this because we know ping times, and if your node's "last seen" time is 30 minutes, you might get it fixed before having to rebroadcast.
So, there's workarounds on mainnet... But it would be better if there was actually some positive correlation that didn't require para-network services and logfile ogling...